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Nico Tini, Private Eye (Jennifer Semple Siegel)

Nico Tini, a hard-assed, chain-smoking private dick, specialized in tracking down missing and stolen domain names. Back in 2003, pursuing a hot tip on the purloined ZurplePurpleBurkleSpot[dot]cm* (which, back then, existed as a ghost country-code registry without content, but still considered MIA by the great Kevin Ham**), Tini went into a Florida bar and fired up an unfiltered Camel. “Hey, Bub, snuff the cancer stick,” said the scarred, tough-as-nails bartender behind the black oak bar. He pointed at the dreaded “No Smoking” sign. “Oh, carp. WTF is the world coming to when ya can’t even smoke in a bar. A BAR, for godsake!” The bartender shrugged. “Yeah, it sucks, but what can ya do? If I let you light up, it’ll cost me 2,000 big ones.” Nico Tini shook his head and stuck the unlit cig in his mouth and chewed on the end. “Whatta world we live in...” “All’s not lost, though. I got something right up ya alley,” the bartend said. “Let me take care of ya!” He slid into the backroom. An aw…

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